The First Day of Kindergarten

Today Trenton starts Kindergarten. I made his lunch last night and made sure it would all fit in his new lunch box. We decided on this clothes last night also so all I had to do was iron them and he would be all set. Trenton wake up and was still on a "high" from his birthday yesterday I believe. LOL. We decided what he wanted for breakfast and then quickly wanted to get dressed and wanted me to spike his hair.

We had to go drop Jackson off at his school first, then we headed to Trenton's school. He was so excited, he talked the whole way there. He got out of the truck and we took a few pictures quickly and then we started our walk in. He was starting to get nervous butterflies, so we talked the whole way in. He got to his classroom and a few kids were already there. We hung his back pack up, found his name on his table and clipped his name tag to him. He started to get upset but was ok, we decided it was time for Mommy and Daddy to go so we gave him big hugs. He wanted to walk us to the door, anything to make my sweet boy happy. He said Bye Mommy with tear in his eyes but we ok. I immediately walked out the door and teared up. I love that boy more than he will ever know.

I tried to add a pic but it was sideways so I will add new pictures soon.

Not sure how to feel

So lately I have been down in the dumps, nearly emotionless. I miss my hair, I'm pissed that people dont understand, I hate that it takes a toll on my family, and I hate that it is taking a toll on other parts of me. I'm normally happy, creative, and driven. Well lately I have been pissy, lazy, and idealess. I'm going to a wig shop in Dallas this coming Saturday to see what we need to do to get me a wig. The biggest factor is going to be the cost, I can't exactly shell out $1000 for one, that just isnt possible. I want a real hair wig so I can style it and do many different things. I dream about long pig tail braids. LOL

I dont know if I just need some more mommy time or what but I feel like I yell and am unhappy constantly. Everyone will tell me well go talk to someone about it. Well that costs money and yeah that isnt going to happen right now. LOL. So I'm just stuck in this rut and I hate it.

I guess most of my saddness is due to my mommy guilt. I want to be able to take Trenton to school and to pick him up everyday. I hate that I'm missing out on that special time with him. I dont have a choice right now though.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer today but that is my mood.

Alopecia and a Change

So most everyone knows that I have had Alopecia since I was 7. It started it out with small spots and then went into "remission" until I was in my late teens and early 20's. When it came back I was able to get steriod shots in my head to simulate the hair to grow, I went through these treatments for about a year off and on. Then when I got pregnant with Jackson it started falling out again, and it didnt stop after I had him. I found a dermatologist but had already decided before my appt that I didnt want anymore shots or extensive treatment that would make me sick later in life. So on August 29 of 2010 I put my hair up in a high pony tail and cut it off. Then my sweet hubby shaved my head, he was worried I would back out and hate it. He quickly realized why I wanted to shave it. I had so many bald spots it was amazing. I kept it saved twice week until October and after that I didnt need to shave again, that is how quickly it happened. By Christmas I was with out eye brows for the most part and almost all of my eye lashed had fallen out also. Arm, leg, and even nose hair were gone before this time also, hey I now save a ton in Razors, hair cuts, hair products and time. LOL I wore hats and scarves when it was cold but prefer to go completely bald most of the time.

I do get comments and questions. Mostly from kids that dont know any better. I have gotten one comment that made me mad but now I just get a good laugh from it. A lady stopped me in the parking lot of my Kroger and asked me if I was Buddhist. LOL She said I'm not trying to be rude, I replied well you are and just kept walking. I get the cancer comment and questions also, but I quickly tell them I actually don't have cancer but ALOPECIA. Most have no clue what it is.

Here is a lesson for those who don't know what it is. Alopecia is an Auto Immune Disorder that only effects your hair follices. I'm not sick in anyway, I'm actually very healthy. I tell children when they ask that my head just didnt like my hair anymore and it fell out. There are 3 different type of Alopecia; Alopecia Areata (just round hairless spots), Alopecia Totalis (just the head), or Alopecia Universalis (total body). You can be born with Alopecia or you can get it at any point on your life time. It isnt contagious or hereditary, and it doesnt just effect one hair color or type. Also there is no cure but only treatments that can help with hair growth. For me most treatments are tested enough and for long enough to make me what to try them. So I hold my head high and remain hairless.

This does greatly affect my kids though, Trenton gets question from classmates and friends. He is well educated on what Alopecia is and will tell anyone and everyone that his Mommy is ok but just cant grow hair.

I have decided after some research and looking that I'm going to start the process of looking into getting a real hair wig from a local wig shop. I'm sure it is going to be a time consuming and expensive task but hey you can't take money with you when you die, right. LOL I'm even going to look into possibly getting my eyebrows tattood on.

Wish my Luck

Feelings

Does any other mom out there feel used and abused? I dont mean in a physically beaten up way. I feel like I have to nag and remind and do everything. I thought I had gotten past my bad mood and breaking point Saturday but yesterday and today have been the pits. I feel like I have to tell and remind the boys to do everything. Breakfast is a battle in the mornings, I get them up at 5:40-5:45 and then get breakfast going (cereal, waffles, oatmeal, pancakes) just after they hit the table. We give them until about 6:00-6:05 to eat and then it is time to wash hands brush teeth and get dressed. I feel like at 6:00 that I have to nag and nag and nag to get them to finish. We are trying to get them to bed earlier so they can be up and conherent enough to eat. We do time outs and it helps, but this momma is at the end of her rope. I feel like I have to scream to get their attention, and I hate doing it I feel bad but I can't get anything through their thick sculls. I know I know they are only 5 and 2 (almost) but it still makes me mad. So we are going to try this in my house, any time I ask them to do something and they dont do it or get side tracked I'm going to simply as them, "Do you remember what you are suppose to be doing"? If that doesnt work then they will get a time out. This momma is tired of the monkey business, some might think I'm way to hard on my boys but I'm just tired of doing everything.

The Busiest Month of the Year

We do have 3 birthdays to celebrate. Jack will be 2 on Thursday and Jimmy will be 30 on Friday. We will be going to Jack's spot (Beth Marie's) for Ice Cream Thursday night and then to the Rough Riders game Friday night for both of their Birthday's. Saturday night we will be celebrating their birthday's together by having all of our local friend and family meet at Rudy's for some great BBQ and then over to our house for cupcakes and to just hang out.
Trenton will not be turning 5 until the 21st but we are celebrating his Birthday a little early with his friends from his old school. He is excited about having a swim party and seeing his friends again. On his actual Birthday we will be going to his spot (Bahama Buck's) for snow cones with family.

Trenton will start school August 22, so we still have school supplies to shop for and school clothes to by.

Our August is shaping up to be super busy but I wouldnt have it any other way.

Life and my Hubby

So Jimmy and I have been married for almost 6 years now, woo hoo right. LOL. Well from time to time I think that I get the short end of the stick. We have two wonderful (but sometimes crazy) boys, so he gets to do fun boy things. This momma doesnt have anyone to have girlie time with, I do have to admit that I was upset and I did cry when we found out that Jack was a boy. I quickly got over it mind you but I was still a little mad. Jimmy does do things to help; he takes the boys to school in the morning, he does laundry, yard work, and helps with the boys for the most part. Well Saturday I was at my breaking point, I felt like I was doing more and pulling more weight then I needed to so I yelled at him and cried. I couldnt remember the last time he had changed a diaper or brushed the boys teeth or even did dishes. This mommy had had enough, I told him that he had to help and that him going to take smoke breaks anytime he wanted to wasnt far as I couldnt even get 5 seconds to myself let alone 5 minutes. I even have 2 lovely boys follow me to the bathroom all the time. So I told him I need him to help out more, so that my stress level wasnt through the rough anymore. Well since that talk he has been doing just that, which I must say is amazing.

Saturday night we celebrated one of my best friends birthdays. We started off at Chilis for dinner and then made it to Rockin Rodeo before 10, and even got in free. Jimmy and I had been a few times before but felt like out casts because we couldnt dance so we needed our friend to teach us. Well we danced 3 half step dances that night and had a blast. Needless to say when we get another adult night that is where we will be going. It is so much fun, the music is great, it is smokey but still fun.

Things are going to be getting more difficult around our house in the next 3-6 wks so we have to work together to make it ok. Trenton starts Kindergarten the day after his 5th Birthday, I do have to admit that I'm a little nervous and upset that my sweet, smart, handsome Trenton is growing up. He will do amazingly well but change is hard for him and I. Also Jimmy's father has taken a District Manager position with a discount store in Kentucky so he and my Mother in Law will be moving in the near future. For most people this wouldnt be a huge deal but they live 10 house down from us and we see them at least 3-4 times a week. The boys love to go play at Nannie's so it will be hard on everyone.

This Crazy thing called Life

Life has been a bit crazy over the past month.
Well Trenton finished out the school year at his old school. We left with many tears and many hugs, but are truly greatful for all the friendships we have made and lessons that we have learned. We are very sad that we had to leave but live throws you changes.
After leaving Trenton's school we started our staycation. Jimmy was only off Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday.
So the boys and I stayed home Monday and just vegged and cleaned.
Tuesday was Discovery Day at their new schools. They both did well, we dropped them off at about 8:15 and did some running around just the two of us which was nice. We went and looked a a few cars, my Jeep is nearing 150K miles and is 9 years old so we are looking for something newer and with better gas mileage. The search led us to Honda, and to the Civic. Problem, they didnt have to color I wanted so we decided to wait. We went and picked the boys up from school at just afternoon so we could spend the rest of the day together.
Wednesday was half price day at the Fort Worth Zoo, so we packed up and headed there in the morning. We only lasted until about 1, it was way to hot to stay any longer.
Thursday was another veg day for the boys and I, which was totally fine with this momma.
Friday we spent all together getting errands done and having fun together.
Saturday I took Trenton to his friend Kenan's birthday where I got a great new business idea. Tie Dye.
Sunday, Father's Day we went and bought a new table and chairs. They were a floor sample at Haverty's, Original price $990 we paid $249. Amazing deal.
The boys started their new school the following day, Monday. It was hard and they cried but it had gotten earier. The now, 6 weeks later, don't cry or whine it is so nice. We are still working out issues but we are settling in nicely.

So back to the Tie Dye idea, I started just doing a few items. T Shirts, Tank Tops, and Onsies. They are so fun and super easy to make. I'm actually using this idea to do at a baby shower for my friend Whitney. Can't wait.

I have also been doing something else new, couponing. Not just regular a coupon here or there but really shopping the deals. I have started a nice stockpile of household and toiletry items. I so far have gotten 5 tubes of toothpaste, 2 tooth brushes, 5 bottles of shampoo, 4 bottles of body wash for Jimmy, 3 sticks of deodorant for Jimmy, 4 sticks of deodorant for me, 4 body washes for me, a razor for Jimmy, 2 tubes of kid toothpaste, 2 spools of floss, Tape, Pens, Dish Soap, Hand Soap, Laundry Detergent, and Tissues. This is my new obsession, LOL, it is funny because it actually gives me a high when I get a great deal. Love it.

I have also started a few new sewing projects. My awesome Photography Friend, Cynthia, asked me to make a maternity tank top for a client of hers with the babies name on it. It turned out amazing and now I have been contacted by a few other moms to make one for them as well. I have also been making fun kid gifts; hooded towels, dresses, and a new one a Super Hero Cape and matching Mask.

We did get some sad news last week, my father in law was laid off from his district manager position back when I was prego with Jackson and he has had a hard time finding a job that compares. He interviewed with a company last week and he got it, we are very excited for him but it does come with one down side. They have to move, to Bowling Green Kentucky. Most would think well that isnt to bad, well for us it is. My in laws live 10 house down from us and we see them at least 3-4 times a week if not more. My boys love going to Nannie and Papaw's for spur of the moment sleep overs on the weekends. I told Trenton that this might be a possibility but not to get upset yet. Well we got the news Thursday that it would be happening. I told Trenton because I dont like keeping anything like that from him. He lost it, and in turn this momma lost it also. We still dont have an exact date as to when they will be moving but we know it will be before Thanksgiving with my FIL going to Kentucky to start working before the end of August. So this will be hard for everyone but especially for our boys. I pray that we can work out a way to see them more than once a year.

With the move being said we are now really looking for a new car for me, something that gets great gas mileage and is big enough to travel with 4 people. We are narrowed our options down to a Civic or a Mazda 3. We now just have to find the color and model I like, and price also.

I need to get better about updating more than once a month. LOL.